Where do you go when you're at the end of your rope?

The last 3 years have been a huge challenge for me. I have had some intense business challenges, and personal challenges, we've changed locations twice and we've been weathering the storm of a recessed economy.  In dealing with this, more than once I've felt like I'm at the end of my rope.
It's a very discouraging and frustrating place to be. I was depressed, unhealthy and dis-engaged. After some soul searching and hard work I'm strangely optimistic, working on new goals, and feel healthier and happier than I have in a long time. The story, of course is in the struggle to get from there to here.


I once read a story about a cancer survivor who was reticent to speak of her experience until she spoke with a friend who said that by not talking about it she was being selfish.  Taken aback she asked for clarification. Her friend explained that by experiencing all that fear, pain and discomfort, surviving it and then ignoring it she was doing a great disservice to all the people she could help by sharing her story. From that moment on that particular cancer survivor decided to own her experience and instead of stuffing it down she embraced it and decided to use it to help others who might benefit from hearing her story.  

So by way of celebrating the challenges of the last 3 years in my life I offer the frustrations of my journey as a gift. Something to share and to encourage students of the martial arts and potential students to use their practice of martial arts, health, and mind to not give up. To look at being at the end of your rope as a starting point rather than a place to let go. 

More than once I've faced personal and business challenges that seemed insurmountable.  People close to me, family and friends have died.  I've faced overwhelming financial pressure, business stress, health issues, stress and worry, a feeling that I could never get ahead and stress, also some stress.  There were times when negative thoughts would creep into my mind and set up camp like a virus, replicating and draining my energy. There were times I just wanted to pull up the stakes, pack the tent up and head for the hills.  It took some time but I realized that those feelings collectively represented a type of burnout. Burnout is sometimes hard for a self-starting, business owning, entrepreneurial person to recognize.  For me it was difficult because my life and my business are entwined through financial, social, and spiritual levels. If there was a problem with my business there was a problem with me and my life.  That's not something fun to admit.  In that moment of  initial awareness  the process of healing began. 

There was a time I felt like I was at the end of my rope. I began a spiritual dialog, asking questions, searching. I talked with family and friends. I began reading books. I didn't realize it then but I was beginning to turn a corner by transforming frustration into fascination.  I became interested in my own dis-ease. This admission of weakness  challenged me and my ego because as a coach, teacher, trainer, educator, business owner, father, and husband I felt it was my duty to lead, to have all the answers, to help others and to be the one to offer encouragement, advice and healing energy. But what happens when the healer needs healing? 

I had to come full circle and needed to return to the roots of who I wanted to be and what I wanted for my life.  I discovered that my personal martial arts training offered me a way out of the pit and back up the rope.  Martial Arts  encourages us to face the facts, to take an honest assessment of ourselves and our efforts and then to embrace hard work and direct that effort to long term goals.  Once you realize that you are always starting over, that life is a practice and not a perfect and that your teachers are there to offer you encouragement to continue that practice! "You will get better. So, get moving!" I had stopped climbing the rope. I was in a rut and sinking. What's the difference between a rut and the grave? The depth of the hole.  When you stop climbing you start sliding. I began to see that my martial arts training offers me a unique way to connect to life. My practice has to extend to the mundane in order to reach the sublime.  The tough times are what test us, and temper us.  

So, I wanted to write a note of encouragement to those of you out there that might be feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or otherwise at the end of your rope.  That rope is there to help you start over. It's never too late!  I've come to look at it as a spiritual workout. Facing the daily, weekly and monthly problems as challenges, as resistance that helps me build strength. At our school we emphasize training, practice, and taking the steps necessary to solve problems, set goals and look for new opportunities.  We work to apply that work ethic on the mat and off the mat in the world. At some point you may realize that you're  looking at the wrong end of the rope. Look up! Climb and when you get higher up the mountain, reach down and help someone else make the climb. Share your story of struggle, be a role model . 


By staying humble and hungry I never want to be afraid to tie on another white belt. In other words when I'm faced with a problem or a challenge and I find a new system of knowledge that can help me learn something new or experience a new way of practicing, learning, training or living I want to embrace being a beginner again.  I want to open myself to new knowledge and experiences and and accept that process as part of my journey into self-discovery and self-improvement so that I may be a good role model for my family and friends, for my students and peers.  

I want to share a kind of year end report and some of the steps I've taken because of my re-dedication to my practice.  Nothing here is revolutionary and next to some of the amazing things done by members of the health providing community it's just a beginning but what's more important than new beginnings?  From when and where I was in my health and attitude these things are groundbreaking. To use that metaphor, I have broken ground in order plant new seeds, new life and new hope into my business and into my life. 

First I feel like I've faced burnout head on. I've read Fried Why You Burn Out and How to Revive. I've begun mentoring assistants again and I've taken strategies to monitor and avoid burning out in the future. I've shifted my attitude in big ways shifting from complaining and explaining to goal setting and solving. It's the attitude and the 

message of the path to Black Belt that drives me to consistent and never ending enthusiasm. A new attitude that has helped me look at the end of my rope as a rescue rope, an obstacle course, a spiritual workout, as the thing I need to reach up and grab to pull me from turbulent waters rather than let go.  Now I look around me and I can see that in our school and community we are helping other people climb their ropes. 

Here's a list of a few things that we've begun working on. 

Back to basics: We are reviewing our curriculum, schedule, belt system and classes to provide a better experience for our students, teachers and families.  

Community leadership: I have started Bully Blockers a local program that is gaining momentum and even though in it's emergent stage I am learning a lot, meeting great kids and educators and am proud of what I'm doing. We have been asked to put on assemblies and to do after school programs as well as speak publicly at local schools, churches and libraries.  The mission of our school is expanding and as we are helping more people the energy in our school is growing! 

We have reviewed and relaunched adult self-defense programs and women's self-defense classes and donated part of the proceeds to local women's shelters.  

We have pledged to work with the MDA and St. Jude's as our children's charities for 2012. 

We are defining our school, our mission and our philosophy through social media, blogs and the website with new confidence and vigor. 

We are working on an independent film about bullying. 

This year I shifted from stubbing my toe on a stumbling block and turned it into a stepping stone. I personally taught over 1000 classes of martial arts this year and continued to be a student myself.  I earned my Green Belt in Counterpoint Tactical Systems, have learned the Red Belt Material (to a level I can practice it) and 75% of the 3rd class Brown Belt.  I studied for and received my Personal Training Certificate and created X-Kick (A cross training High intensity interval circuit combined with kickboxing)  and taught over 150 fitness classes. In addition I've had the wonderful opportunity to present Bully Blockers to over a 100 children since it's inception in October, 2011.  It's been a great year of learning, training, teaching and sharing. What about next year? 

Project based leadership is in the works for next year and also thanks to Mike Miller,  Zach Whitson, Gary Engles  and Tom Callos I have outlined my goals for my next 2 years of training for my next black belt test as well as built a foundation for our school's ubbt.   (blogs about that coming soon)

So much more to do but at this time, rather than feeling overwhelmed by it, I'm excited.  I'm not sure where this journey with Dynamic Edge will lead but I'm very grateful to be on the path. It's a phenomenal experience to hike into difficult terrain and see the creative ways some of my peers and mentors have navigated it, not to mention the ever present hands reaching down willing to help you take that next step up and over. As long as you've got your pack on, can stand up and are ready to put your best foot forward there will be someone there to help you up the mountain.  

In addition to these new goals it was great to finish the year seeing some of my students reach some of their long term goals.  Just last weekend we graduated 2 new Jr. Black Belts who demonstrated great skill, confidence, physical fitness and respect during a grueling 2 hour plus testing process.  Congratulations to Ben and Grant Rockefeller!  Also, after years of practice, training and preparation Sam Balding has earned his 2nd degree Black in Dynamic Edge American Kenpo. Congratulations Mr. Balding!
I mention these accomplishments to remind myself of the climb and as a few small examples of what can happen when you stop just hanging on and start pulling yourself up one grip at a time. 

I'm very excited about next year and look forward to learning, growing, and exploring the martial arts in a more intense and enjoyable way than ever. I look forward to sharing the journey. 

To the students, family and friends of Dynamic Edge a very respectful thank you!

May your new year be very happy and full of adventure, hope, and light!

Respectfully,
Theron Sturgess and the Dynamic Edge Team